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Table tennis is not our exclusive competition. My first cousin and me are always combative… perhaps too combative. It might be as trivial as whom might consume food speedier or eat more… whom could eat slower or less. It didn’t matter. If there was a means one mortal could trump the other in anything, we’d compete.

Regrettably, the small abode my wife and I bought doesn’t have a lot of space for the many manners my first cousin and I desire to compete. After much calculation, we at long last set on a billiard table with a Stiga Duo table tennis conversion top. Basically this affords us the ability to play either pool or ping-pong on the same table in the same space.

Thus now our notorious rivalry remains. Naturally, he constantly kvetches that it is not the real thing. Even though he usually trumps me in pool, every single instance we set the table tennis conversion top along the billiard table, it appears his game errs.

To put it simply, I think it’s because I’m just plain the greater ping-pong player. But regrettably, he has too many rationalizations. The elevation is not right. The dimensions are off. The list goes on. So I got out the measuring tape. The elevation and dimensions were right on to the official table tennis proportions. Then he postulated the table caused the wrong bounce; that in some manner the billiard table beneath affected the speed and elevation of the bounce.

So we investigated the official bounce measurement (yes, there is an official bounce measurement). It’s for each 30 cm of drop, there must be a 23 cm bounce. We tested the bounce in over a dozen locations on the conversion top. In every last spot the ball bounced almost perfectly straight up and nearly exactly 23 cm high. So you realize, ping pong conversion tops do a perfectly respectable job duplicating a good game of ping pong. And my cousin has no excuses. I am simply the superior ping pong player.

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