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I tried a behavior contract on a whim. I did not really expect it to work, but I thought I would give it a shot. I explained to him the rules he was expected to obey. I also explained to him what I would do if he did not obey the rules. We wrote it out and posted it on the wall, along with rewards and punishments, and both signed it.

At first, the behavior contract did not work. He was trying to test the boundaries of course, and started acting up even more than before. Once he realized that I meant business, however, his behavior started to change. He started behaving better, doing better in school, mouthing off less, and generally behaving like a young gentleman. It took a lot of work and it didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen.

One of the biggest and worst mistakes you can make as a parent is to expect behavior contracts to solve all your problems. They do not work that way. Instead, they are a tool that you can use to solve your own problems. A behavior contract is basically a way for a parent or teacher to set down the law in a concrete manner. Some students and children need firm discipline and stable boundaries. Behavior contracts define these boundaries and tell the student or child what will happen when the boundaries are crossed. It is up to the authority figure to stay firm on the punishments that have been decided on. If you don’t, you can make the problem worse than it was.

Filed under: Self improvement